3/8/05
Last night I had a dream: I was at a party, or maybe a club somewhere. Russell was there and I was so excited to see him. It was weird b/c I was cruising and yet searching for him. I oversaw him writing a letter talking about how we were wed in Christ or something like that and that he truly loved me but basically settled for certain things. I felt my heart sink. There were times when we hugged and I felt so elated, so excited to see him. But, he wasn’t particularly happy with me and that broke my heart too. Then, completely out of no where, this knowledge came into my head. I can’t remember specifically if he told me this directly or it was just there. It didn’t seem to be part of the dream at all and yet it was: He said once, "Wake up, Kevin, my parents are in town." He yelled it the last two times and I woke up expecting to see him right there in bed where he normally lay. I wrote off the dream as a result of eating too much too close to bed. Still, I had a feeling that the dream was awfully real. Then this afternoon, working at home, I get two emails from former employees of Russell’s at Center Stage: Russell’s parents stopped in at Center Stage this morning. They are in Baltimore “on business.” I’m freaked. I’m also very excited about the possibilities. I’m also threatened by their presence.
(I was told by a friend to write this down or I'd rationalize the experience away, so here it is).
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