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Quaker, French-speaker, educator, anti-racist; Southern-born & raised, and talking enthusaist.

2023-08-07

Rise up! Y'all, not me.

I woke up this am, and immediately checked my apps.  I have been prolific in my posts,  realizing afterwards, prolific doesn't equate coherent. I checked the Nextdoor app. I saw my post responding to yet another post about car theft made no sense.  I realize I hadn't put any thought into what I was saying so what was the point?

I'll preface this probable ensuing mansplaining:  I learned during my time in government relations and through teaching, that in politics,  "perception is reality."   The perception I and others have is that authorities aren't doing enough, or "anything."  

That doesn't mean that cops and the mayor really aren't doing anything. It's that  they don't SEEM to be doing anything effective about the car issue or other crimes.  And they may not be all the can or could.

This is my somewhat confessional insight: First I believe that more than one thing can be true at once.  So, when I'm not lazy, I try to consider all sides, weigh what I know, check in with people who I know do the research and don't necessarily share my political views or social stances, and then post. 😏 That is not, however, the norm.

So, what do I believe is going on?  I'm not entirely site!  I do know, from observation from living 40 something years in the South and 20 something years of those years and the city,  that the the problem is to a great degree systemic.  The system of laws, of punishments,  and rewards benefit those who wrote them.  Many opportunities afforded by laws, zoning codes, distracting, etc, are deliberately and accidentally classist, racist, precarious for immigrants and LGBT people and  women, etc. The responsibility for fixing that system  and coming up with fair and equitable remedies and solutions includes many who might read this blog, who participate in related discussions on social media, and who live in our city.  

The system as I understand it:  Y'all know that the executive branch of our city government is supposed to carry out the laws and enforce the laws, but in this case I don't see how that is happening effectively. 

Legislators and the feds have successfully pissed off the BPD (not saying reform is bad, but what's the point if it's not done correctly, inclusively, and justly). and I don't care if those who are part of the problem in law-enforcement or mad, but I do care if the entire force feels or is alienated and therefore either through reaction or pressure does not become part of the solution. And sometimes even some of the bad apples do turn around but we can't wait for them to do it. I get that. Again the legislators and the judges, the judicial branch, often insulate the executive branch from corruption and abuse. In Baltimore we might partially solve that if we just vote them out. But people don't vote, and when they do, though they vote with their feelings and not always informed.

So about other points ot view: I've listened to police talk on news shows (MSNBC,  NPR, local radio and F*x) and some of them are too hesitant or too angry to do what they  believe they need to do. 

And they are getting mixed messages and little moral or financial support to do their jobs or to relearn their jobs.  They are asked and legislated  to be more than law enforcers, but also drug and alcohol counselors, mediators, etc. And at least they claim to be open to reform. I'm a cynic, but I have to at least give people a chance before I vote for someone to slap them down. If I've given up hope, oh well. Right? Or.....

Slap them down with votes.  Votes. 

Back to the system:  So, ok, the  mayor oversees the police department as they are part of the same government branch; therefore he is responsible, at least politically.  While I hold the Executive branch partly responsible, those we elect (including some prosecutors and judges) undermine the BPD with political rhetoric (defund the police) as well as thru manipulative use of demographics and social injustice to deflect from root, causal issues pertaining to our culture.  Judges don't give maximum sentences for violent crimes, and  often  when they do, they apply harsh penalties in sentences to blacks, then they do to whites.  Now, I'm not trying to make anybody feel guilty. I don't want any Moms of liberty coming after me.  Actually, bring it on. I'll ask them why empathy is such a bad thing then I'll point out that I get it cause they don't have any.

Sorry, ok, sermonizing here: There exists rampant ignorance or lies about our history, and a general personal, familial, and community moral and breakdown and sense of personal responsibility and accountability to family and community .  just look at what's going on all over this country, especially in Florida and Virginia, and other southern states where they are actively rewriting the curriculum to exclude any mention of atrocities committed by white people. It wasn't the Chinese or the Russians!   (Anytime someone tells me that an accurate portrayal of the apartheid cast system of white rich people forced on Black people for the past few centuries in this country is making people feel guilty. I question their emotional intelligence if you feel bad, and that's sympathy.If you've had bad things happened to you, that could be empathy, we send sympathy cards all the time with that things happen people.)

when I was at Earlham School of Religion, I had a professor named John Punshon.  He was a recorded, friends minister, and elder in two different traditions of Quakerism, both a more Protestant Christian one and the other a more mystical universalist one (my my Quaker meeting is dually affiliated but leans to the latter).  One day in one of my Quakerism classes, he asked us what the two kinds of people in this world were at least in our country or in our quaker, religious society. And you can imagine all of the answers: left and right, liberal, or conservative, evangelicals, or fundamentalist.  He let us go on until we ran out of ideas.  Finally, smiling, he said "it is thinking, and I'm thinking people." Those are the two groups.  he went on to explain that in any political or social debate there will be people on all sides or most side, who are thinking. They listen, reflect, weigh anecdotal experience or evidence and opinions with facts. those who don't think are either lazy or haven't been taught how to think. They go on feelings. And of course there are also those who are very smart and know what they're doing, but are dishonest and manipulative. I tend to think that it's like a Venn diagram. There's a little bit of both and we can be on any side of that, depending where we are and  issue.

Considering that, I don't care how progressive or conservative a school is, I don't believe that we really understand as a people that we have been manipulated and used since the beginning of Time by those who make laws and wield power.  The structural problems that we see today aren't an accident.   And yet today we see people trying to cover it all up. #momsofliberty  

When someone tells me that teaching about a racist history makes their children feel bad I go nuts. So basically they object to an accurate portrayal of the apartheid cast system made by and for white rich people, which manipulated not rich white people into thinking they were "all the same," (you know, white). It was forced on Black people for the past few centuries in this country. That making people feel guilty. GOOD!  it means that you can still hear the still, small voice of God within you; the spirit, the Light that your God uses to speak to you, even though your conscience is polluted and poisoned by products practices. and perspectives!  

I confess that I question their emotional intelligence they don't recognize sympathy, or empathy or how they benefited from the system and feel a little guilty. Some guilt is good some  guilt is bad.  It depends on whether it causes you to write a wrong or to continue living in sin. And racism and doing nothing about abject poverty, is nothing but societal sin. 

 If we have  had bad things happened to us, that could be empathy!  And besides, don't we send sympathy cards all the time recognizing when bad things happen people to people? Its the nice thing to do.  We offer our condolences and ask if we can help. So when poor people or people of color for the immigrant, the stranger tell us about their pain and we realize that maybe we look like the people who have done the harm and it's triggering at the least. In any event, if someone says I'm hurting, we don't sit and go "well, you shouldn't feel pain or hurt" nor do we argue with them, unless we're just dicks. We asked how we can help and if we're really good and it's appropriate, we advocate for them we go with them we stand up for them. But in this case it's Black people and poor people, and we can keep them fighting each other or lumped in together and make them all fight each other thanthe rest of us who have 401(k)s and have a little boxes on the hillside, cars insurance feel like we've arrived and we're different then that's not our problem and we have nothing to do with it.

Shit, my mom just came out seeing me dictate this as I edit what I already wrote. She asked me what on earth I was doing as I wave my hands in the air and was so animated. πŸ₯ΈπŸ€ͺ😎

So before any of us, or at least I think that we're more informed than the others, I want to concentrate on what we do about it.  WE have to rise up! I probably already come across as pedantic and. righteous. It comes out naturally, when I'm angry or upset about some thing. i'm actually trying not to be here.

So, as a good Quaker, having thought that I have somewhat of a grasp of at least part of the problem, let's turn from the problem where the Tempter can get us, and turn to the solution. What is the light moving me to say? Well, I haven't checked this with anyone else, so I can completely be wrong in my perception, but no one knows  about my blog anyway, and journaling is a highly  recommended practice.πŸ˜‚

It's just at this point in my thought process I am so frustrated.  We are (I am) afraid to even have or participate in neighborhood watches.  Most churches hide behind their walls, taking positions on things but risking little or nothing.  Churches are often irrelevant to many, certainly the criminal element. Traditional sources of moral authority have lost their credibility. Corruption, hypocrisy, religious legalism, collusion between religion and government are rampant. The prosperity gospel (give money to man who uses Bible words, and God will reward you), is all over the TV and radio. In many Christian churches pastors and politicians who attend them have nicer cars and live in nicer homes than their  congregants. What would it look like? If every church in a four block area got together on a regular basis did a neighborhood watch walked around and offered to feed get people to the doctor Massage listen to pray with the broken people around them ? What if they join the #BaltimorePeaceMovent?  What if so-called religious people and institutions spent more of their time, feeding the hungry and healing the sick and praying in private and less time telling everybody what to do? If I hear one more person say blessed and highly favored every time I say, how are you? I think I might gouge out my tongue because it's going to cost me to sin. 😈


(ok Im ranting) 

And it's not just about cars being stolen. One of my former students was murdered this year. In one month the same three middle schoolers tried to mug me on my street in Ridgleys as I was walking home. And while it's not unique to Baltimore package thieves must come out of holes in the ground because they're everywhere.

I blame this on, and recognize good ol'  #societalbreakdown . As we say in education, teachers (cops too?) are afraid of their principals (cops are afraid of their commanders), principals are afraid of their superintendents (commanders are afraid of their chiefs), sups/chiefs are afraid of their mayors/execs,  the mayors/execs are afraid or bound by their legislators, all of them fear parents/voters, the parents fear their kids (or are too permissive/incompetent/misguided/enabling) and "kids" aren't afraid of anybody. 

The solution isn't simple, I realize this.  But cops carry out what they are told to do (with a sorry history of abuse) so trust is broken.  People don't trust and therefore respect authority in general these days.  When citizens are afraid of their own youth, the youth grow up continuing their anti-social behavior. There is generational poverty. There is also a generational criminality.     I include myself in this judgment.  No, my parents are criminals. But… I'm just saying I have my own rebellious mindset and cynicism as well distrust of "authority."  

The legislature has kept citizens from being able to rightly defend themselves. Cops don't  really don't want more people whatever their intent running around brandishing more guns, complicating matters either.  We all keep waiting for the right person or people to stand up and lead us to rise up against oppression, police brutality, government and religious corruption, but what about the leaders who help us rise up and march and protest against criminality in our own streets?  what about the leaders who actually inspire us to look within ourselves and let the light shine on all of the things we don't want to see or admit, so that we can turn into the light and walk in the light and learn to love ourselves, our own peeps,  the stranger and those who persecute us? 

Again, have the #baltimoreoeqcemovement which is doing great witness and service.  My Quaker meeting donates to  them and a few Quakers show up to their gatherings. My Quaker meeting has a monthly prayer vigil and after every worship, we read the names and hold in the Light names of people, murdered in Baltimore, including one of my former students. But we aren't rising up. And I'm sure someone is reading this frustrated because their group of people, whatever kind of group that is, they are also trying to do things to spread love and light, healing and nourishment. I know good and well there are people out there trying to raise Hope in a hopeless environment.  

I remember, marching in the marches after Freddie gray, going through #Sandtown-Winchester, and then going back downtown, thousands of people, marching against the injustice done by an instution and people. but I didn't feel threatened because I just believed that all of those tanks and machine guns were absolutely not going to be fired on any of us.  One, there were too many white people, and too many young people. #whiteprivilege 

And while there are #blm vigils, they are always in safe areas. I don't see people (other than #baltimorepeacemovement ) going into gang infested areas, flooding the streets by the thousands decrying  the injustices done by criminals. I know why:  Fir me, it's because those kids with guns may actually shoot at us!  Our churches and homes may actually be firebombed by organized crime!  We may lose life, limb or liberty.  

I go back to this:  Two things can be true at once. The police can't do it all alone, the mayor can't do it alone either.  The systems respond when the people rise up.  

Sometimes. I feel that we've cut off the BPD's and legislators' balls instead of reforming things. I suspect even if the blue had a social-justice mindsets fueled whatever politically acceptable metaphorical gonads required to do their job, they/we need us. We need ourselves, and we need to be willing to risk life,  to stand up against violence to stand up in the streets on the streets to say we had enough to stop blaming  at the people we elect and realize that this is a completely participatory government and society, not an autocracy. And I say that with fear and trepidation that one day I might have someone somewhere find me if I go public with this fire inside me.  I fear being shot or beat up if we marched through gang infested and controlled territories, saying we've had enough. But for now, I'll join most church goers and sit  safely in my  meeting house wanting someone else to do the job. 

Solutions:   Guns won't solve our problems and legislation against guns won't solve it. Just as alcoholism and drug addiction are symptoms of a sick emotional and spiritual condition, based on resentment, anger, fear, trauma and genetics (mental illness), so too is violence.  

We, as a society have to be willing to rise up to say no to violence where it happens, bring love, healing and care to those affected by it (both perpetrator and victim). We must also play pur part in changing the systems.

I had a big rant that is based on the Bible, but I realize that anything I say beyond this would be like so many of the preachers and religious teachers in our city. They know the Bible backwards and forwards, but where is the love? Religion has become about tradition and doctrine, and being highly favored, and redeemed, and its tribal. Maybe it's always been that way. I also know there's been many many movements are reform. So I'm not at all sure the answer is with religious bodies anymore. But I also know that I as a religionist have to really open myself up to receiving revelation, inspiration, and direction. Delusions of Grandeur aside,  I do know from experience that after I post this that I have to stop. I need to be still. And I need to listen and search for that love that's in my heart before I move to the corner or to the streets with you  challenging heat, and spreading the love that I experience.

I am powerless without the Powerr.

I am directionless without the Guide.

I am ignorant without my Teacher.

I am self-absorbed fearful, and without faith, qithoyt my community.

I am at but a beginning.  I am starting to admit, I have a role in this, even if everything I said in this blog is off the mark or #bullshit

What do you say? Does what you say come from tje Light within you? Please share.

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