Complaining to Community: One man's realization that he needs to change

 You know how a group of people will be talking smack and before you know it you're sucked into it? At first, depending on the topic, it may be cathartic, but afterwards you realize that you're acting beneath how you were taught to act, and you feel scuzzy for it.

It's so easy to do that when it comes to Baltimore. Transplants and native-born alike, people bitch and moan, hem and haw about what's going on in this city; or, what's not going on. I moved here from Knoxville, Tn in 2000 to teach in the city schools. My first assignment was to be City College but they baited and switched me to Walbrook High. I found a house to rent over in Highlandtown. It's living in the city that I learned that people, rats and bugs were crawling over this city with no apparent purpose other than to bother everyone else. I loved my students, but got the hell out of the school district and went for the county where for all but three of my 22 years I have taught French, language arts (in French) or math (also in French) to mostly black and brown students of varying ethnicities and economic levels. I also taught for two years at City from 13-15. If I had kids that's where they would be going. Harcum and the teachers there have made that a school that can rival any school in the state. I promise. Whether at Walbrook, City or in the county, my students often taught, and sometimes schooled me. 😉 I stayed a city resident, first moving to the Gayborhood (Mt Vernon). Then I bought and renovated a home in Seton Hill, got married, got widowed, fell into some kind of way, got help, moved to Res Hill and then Ridgleys. Rinse. Repeat. In my 22 years as a resident of this city, I've had sauna covos with the mayor (later the governor) and listened to music with people who operate in the "underworld." I've marched for justice and protested injustice with men and women, trans and cis, of all sorts of ethnicities. I had a sit down one on one with a police officer who knew Freddy Gray. I've partied with criminals and dined with elites. I've been mugged and robbed more than once. I've shopped, explored and toured in all parts of the city. I got to know people that most people won't ever know in their lives. My political activism, connections, and lifestyle over the years helped me to really get to know at an intimate level different kinds of people. Knowing them, it's hard make blanket statements or draw conclusions that I may have drawn before knowing them. To hear them explain who they are, why they do what they do, casts a different light on my pre-conceived notions and my sense of entitlement. So, it has become harder to demonize the drug dealer or the politician, to blame the authorities and those whose authority is not ours (or any). Sure, some of our politicians and the city bureaucrats aren't worth their weight in spit, and one wonders who they knew or what church they attend that got them their job. Yes, much of the city violence is around the drug trade. But I can also tell you I've seen the hardest man love and care for someone and city leaders work their butts off to try to make a difference. The gangbanger holds his son's hand and wonders what life would have been like if the cards were different, and hopes his son gets into City, or his daughter into Poly, just like the lawyer up the street or the social worker around the corner does for their children. We think we are so different. In some way our worlds are light years apart, but the human condition is the same. We hurt, we do things to make us stop hurting. We love, we risk loving, we fail, we succeed. We are anxious and uncertain, cocky and defiant, judgmental and unforgiving, just as our deepest selves want acceptance, love, and graciousness. This isn't a kum ba yah missive. I go to my Quaker meeting in Charles Village every week trying my darndest to just sit, be still, submit, turn myself over to the Light, and see what it would have me do. Only, like so many others I resist the leading to act, to stand up, to speak out, to manifest change. Instead I get on apps like this one and cast blame and then go back to my Xbox, my DnD, my refrigerator, or my vices. I will complain, but I won't do anything. I will judge but I won't be part of the solution. I’m working on it though. You see, there's a lot in this city that is not going well, and it's spilling over into the areas of the city that have been traditionally walled off from it. One big example is people complaining about drug deals going on in their neighborhoods where they haven't seen them before. Let me suggest that's less because “they” are infiltrating the hood, and more so that the residents are doing drugs. There's a market there. Door Dash brings burgers and drug dealers bring drugs. I could list more complaints but we can read those complaints all over this app. What I’d like to suggest is that we add random acts of kindness and respect with planned action and contributions / sharing of resources (time, money, possessions, skills). Sure, there is no guarantee that smiling and talking to the squeegee boys, or saying "how u doin' " to the teens on the corner, or volunteering with youth or any other group that needs help and connection will radically change anything that's wrong in this city. Additionally, we still need safe streets, we still need a functioning government, we still need to improve our schools and infrastructure. None of that changes. But as we hold each other accountable, can we consider that acts of kindness, giving of time and resources, not only help someone else, they help ourselves? And if everyone of us on here who complained about something that is going wrong in this city, chose do do one or two things differently, to validate someone, to give resources to someone or some place, perhaps we can effect some change if not physically, then spiritually. School starts next week. I'm excited to see my kids. Blessed be.