A place for pagans in recovery

I don't know that I technically qualify as "pagan."  Yes, I have an ancestor altar at which I sit, burn incense, light my hurricane lantern, talk to my deceased relatives and sometimes try to divine/discern their guidance.  Sometimes I'll dress a particular color of candle with a particular oil and be particular about what kind of incense I burn.  Sometimes I will read from the Psalms as an incantation. Sometimes I leave an offering:  food, coffee, wine, or  a nugget of cannabis.  Most of the time I just blab away.  But I'm part of an Abrahamic faith (Quakers) whose teachings are grounded in the Hebrew scriptures and the New Testament traditions.  Jesus is my central religious figure. I do not worship any other gods.

Celebrate Recovery was a powerful force in my life when I went to California to get my head screwed on straight.  I met a wonderful counselor who was a Believer.  I went to CR meetings with her. I loved the dynamic worship at Saddleback Church.  It stirred my emotions. Eventually, as part of my step 3, I got water baptized (a Quaker did what?!).

Then I came back to Baltimore and several months later I was knee deep in trouble. I thought about finding CR meetings in Baltimore, but none were close by, and there was that one part that I couldn't get past:  they believed that sobriety from that which troubled me did not include being gay.  Well, I can be gay, but not act on it.  This is the mentality that I experienced from Evangelical Quakers which caused so much harm.  I wanted the deeply religious community, but I couldn't be myself.  A part of me had to be denied as sinful.

There is a 12 step community called Pagans in Recovery.  I bought the PIR 12 step book a few years ago, and worked some of the steps in it.  I didn't make much progress; none more than by doing traditional 12 steps or the steps in Celebrate Recovery.   

Then about a year and a half ago I stumbled onto an online community of pagans and attended my first Saturday morning meeting.  I've been going ever since.  They know I'm Quaker and gay and that I venerate my ancestors.  Here was a place that I didn't have to explain my individual practice.  Being gay is as normal and accepted as being bald.  I was in fellowship with others who considered themselves pagan or who practiced magic or who also venerated their ancestors.  I was not alone.  My practice was normal to them.  Having made it part of my Saturday morning routine, often the first thing I do after getting up on Saturdays, I then found a sponsor through the program.  He still is my sponsor even though he's hundreds of miles away.   The raw, honest, heart-felt shares in this meeting kept me coming back.  Here was a meeting that focused on the solution, not the problem.  I could talk about God or my ancestors and no one blinked.  Other than my Quaker meeting, there are few places where I can speak freely about being Quaker who venerates his ancestors and occasionally has done works to affect an outcome.

If you're pagan, or practice religions that aren't "approved" by followers of the Abrahamic faiths, or maybe you're an heretical unorthodox Christian who has alternative practices 😜and you need recovery, I highly recommend trying this fellowship.  The members of this community are true, gentle and supportive. All pagan or neo-pagan addicts and co-addicts (whether chemical or process) are welcome. And you won't have to put up with an "Our Father" at the end of the meetings.