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Quaker, French-speaker, educator, anti-racist; Southern-born & raised, and talking enthusaist.

2023-08-06

My kind of guy is a Celestial

Random brain spill: Anyone else like a tall dude with #bowlegs ? 😍Having this convo with my parents and mom laughed 😂and dad smiled🤭.  "Where did that come from?" she asked me. 🤔I dunno, it's not like I've seen an #urbancowboy  in #baltimore .  🤠  Still, guess I've seen enough guys like that, it's become A Thing.  


Add that to my growing list of things that  no guy who I might date will have.  I love a pretty face, but #chemestry can turn a #plainjane (or Jordan) into 😈.  Not that any of my boyfriends or partners were in any way plain.  #aucontraire  


So far my unicorn (thanks Marian Sing) is:

Honest and has a strong sense of integrity

Tall 5'10 (or taller)

Brown or dark skin 

Gorgeous eyes

Kind

Smart (book or skill)

More mature than me

My age or younger

Takes care of his mind and body

Has or wants a spiritual practice

Is open minded enough to listen

Has principles

Is open and accepted by his family (or at least his mom)

If he is of color, he has worked thru his main racial hang ups and fam and friends are cool

Knows how to take the wheel

Is an #Aquarius, #Sagittarius or fellow #Aries

Is responsible

Doesn't do hard drugs and isn't a big drinker

Not mentally addicted to weed

Has a passion/hobby

Likes to work out/yoga/weights

Has a career (technical, artistic, business, academia)

Is confident, but not cocky

Likes House music.

Has experienced and overcome adversity and gained wisdom from it.

If he has kids, it's preferably at least one son who's cool with everything and is cool himself

Likes DnD or lets me geek out with my DnD friends while he does his thing with his (but likes DnD🥸)

Will drive when we go somewhere, esp where there is traffic (Im evil behind the wheel 👿💩)

Is a fun, and adventurous 👅

Makes me smile and laugh.

Is not afraid of intimacy.

Is not an enabler.

Is a work in progress (and is doing the work)

Speaks French (or Spanish)  -- we can navigate the world together

Has his own wealth or is at least financially stable.

Is as passionately into me as I'm into him.

Wants a strong friendship with me.

Has friends who share his interests whether I do or not, and is cool with the same for me.

Has or likes body art (#tattoos #scarring #piercing)

Is protective but not obsessive or jealous.

Likes touch. 

Likes shared experiences, time and gestures over material gifts, just like me.

Is thoughtful.

Is someone whom I admire.

Believes in the work that comes with keeping a relationship alive and healthy. 

Does not snore (or is willing to have separate bedrooms if he does).

Respects privacy and doesn't lie, snoop or manipulate.

Standa up for  himself.

Never fights or argues below the belt (name calling, cussing at someone he loves, or using #AdHominem attacks.

Can cook well

Is a #foodie and will try most things


Like Marian said.  I want a 🦄


Before I get any lectures, I know that I can't have it all.  There are some things that are musts. 

I learned a lil' about love and relationships with my husband and ex, and I don't want a copy of either.  In neither of those two 6.5 year LTRs, did I have all of that.  One I thought I'd grow old with him, but he died at 26. The other was doomed from the beginning, and we both should have remained friends (and still are).  I don't know that I'm up for the task of even looking.  The #prospects for #dating in Bmore are bad for everyone. I'm too lazy during the school year to go to DC and I have an old dog who needs me. In any event, whatever one's gender identity or sexual orientation, and certainly if one is LGBT or above 40, this is doubtful at best in my town. 


At my age I'd rather have friends of whatever level or type of intimacy rather than tie myself down to a #compromise or by #settling. "You'll do" just wont cut it . I don't have generations of time ahead of me to start over if I make a huge mistake, and I don't want to add regrets no matter how good "it is" (or seems).


But I believe in Unicorns, brown, black or white.  I can find them in #dnd, in a book or a game.  My colleague Andy Tavernia has them all over her office.  I can go sit and contemplate life in her space (unless she is busy, and do those kids keep her busy)!


And if a real life one shows up? Will I even recognize what I encounter at that point?


Thankfully, I'm only partially serious, but I know SOMEONE out there can relate to the mindset, as fantastical or unrealistic as it is. 💯


#fantasy #reallife #tongueincheek #humor #jokingnotjoking #kiddingnotkidding  #singlelifestyle #datingappssuck #NoGRINDR #inmyhead

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